2. Shaping Courage

Confidence is based on what you have, and Courage is based on what you do not necessarily have but will gain even more as you act. Courage may embrace fear, choose to trust, face shame, dare to cry, and forgive own self or others. Courage can take place even when there is fear, when there is doubt, when there is shame, and when there is grief, or guilt.

Courage is not born out of strength but comes out of being vulnerable. Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston. Her work on Courage, Vulnerability, and shame has helped millions. Take a look at her words on these subjects:

"If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive."

"The real questions for parents should be: "Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?" If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions. Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time. The mandate is not to be perfect and raise happy children. Perfection doesn't exist, and I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults."

"I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let's think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow—that's vulnerability."

Embracing vulnerability is to be courageous. Sometimes we teach our children to stop their crying, stop their complaining, not show their weaknesses, and toughen up. It may give them an illusion of strength, but it prolongs their inner suffering and confuses them when they still feel pain internally. We first have to experience sadness, loss, anger, vulnerability, and all the usual emotions associated with real life, then we gain the capacity to be empathic and affirming towards our children. Engaging all emotions is brave and courageous. 

Jesus embraced his anger when he saw the temple become a marketplace instead of a place of prayer. He expressed his tears at the tomb of Lazarus. He shared his sorrow deep within His soul at the Garden of Gethsemane. He embraced a life full of wonders and also sorrows. Engaging all emotions is brave.

Jesus' Courage may have come from His parents, Joseph and Mary. They were brave to take the words of the angel at face value. They were courageous to accept each other as the parents of this unprecedented birth. They went on a courageous journey to Bethlehem with uncertainties. They lived with Courage in times of danger when King Herod tried to kill all babies. An angel told Joseph the name of their baby, Emmanuel. That is, "God is with us." With this Child, Courage is born. Joseph and Mary lived out the Courage in Jesus' lifetime and became the living example of Courage. Jesus lives and breathes with Courage. He is our light in dark hours of cowardice. 

May your family celebrate this courageous season with songs, reflection, and Scripture at this Christmas online concert: https://youtu.be/-k41Wjg6jn0

Or if you prefer a movie: https://youtu.be/cu0aohQugT0

Do check out these extra references on Courage:

TED talk https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en

Podcast https://onbeing.org/programs/brene-brown-the-courage-to-be-vulnerable-jan2015/

The Gifts of Imperfection (2010),  

Daring Greatly (2012) and Rising Strong (2015). 

Brown's new book is called Braving the Wilderness(2017).