"Temperance" in the classification of characters and virtues comprises self-regulation, prudence, humility, and forgiveness. These are concepts leading to self-management skills.
Developing skills for teens
1. Self-Regulation: Impulsivity and rigid control are the extremes of self-regulation. As parents, we can shape this balancing skill. When our children become too impulsive, we help them develop guidelines and boundaries. Avoid being too strict and rigid. Otherwise, our children shut down and do not talk. They suppress their emotions, and they may blow up later. We encourage them to express their negative feelings promptly. Self-regulation skills emerge out of these daily conversations and accepting interactions. As they put it in words, they have a sense of control and feel that someone understands and accepts the everyday struggles of life in a loving manner.
2. Prudence: We can encourage our children to weigh out risks and opportunities, make informed decisions, and act responsibly. Guide them through consequential thinking by asking good questions rather than lecturing. Ask them about their concerns, worries, and struggles.
3. Humility: It is not looking down on self or self-bragging. It is not to draw attention to self or avoid recognition and praise. Humility is an accurate assessment of self and can affirm ourselves and others. Humility is feeling confident and at ease when people compliment us. As parents, we do not compare them with their peers. We salute our children for the qualities they exhibit. Daily building up self-confidence is the pathway to appreciating the fact that everyone has their own unique strengths.
4. Forgiveness: This quality comes with self-compassion. When we as parents practice accepting our own weaknesses. We will come across as more human, less demanding, less complaining, and more accepting. We can say sorry and better understand our spouses' and children's struggles. We can forgive easier. And thus, our children may forgive themselves as they hear us say, "It's O.K.!"
Resources
Self-regulation https://parentandteen.com/self-regulation/
Prudence/Decision Making https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=understanding-the-teen-brain-1-3051
Humility https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/humility_reflection_for_teens
Forgiveness https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/nine_steps_to_forgiveness
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